by admin

Why Dads are different

September 2, 2010 in families, parenting by admin

Fathers parent their children differently

Image by Tony Erika, www.morguefile.com

Yesterday I watched my husband play  rough and tumble with our 2.5 year old daughter.

He was definitely playing rougher with her than I would but her response was to squeal  in delight as he threw her up in the air and caught her again.

My husband also plays ball sports more with our children than I ever would.  Interestingly, it’s our son who is more keen to play ball sports than our daughters. He also disciplines differently.  While I lean to negotiating with the children my husband will negotiate once then he expects action – now!

I realised, yet again that Dads really do parent differently. And apparently these differences are important for a child’s development.

Glenn T. Stanton, Director of Social Research and Cultural Affairs and Senior Analyst for Marriage and Sexuality at Focus on the Family has drew together findings from diverse studies on the topic of fatherhood and reported on some distinct differences between “father love” and “mother love”.

Fathers love differently:
Erik Erikson, a pioneer in the world of child psychology, explains that  fathers “love more dangerously” because their love is more “expectant, more instrumental” than a mother’s love. This is important in helping the child learn about the world and the differences between male and females.

Fathers communicate and parent differently:
Fathers communicate differently and their child is aware of this as young as eight weeks old according to Dr. Kyle Pruett,  an internationally known child psychiatrist and expert on children, family relationships, and fathers. These differences are essential in helping the child learn the differences between men and women and thereby helping them learn skills to interact successfully  in society.

Fathers play differently:
Fathers play rougher, more louder and more boisterous than Mums (who would have thought!).  So next time Mum , you see Dad throwing your kids into the air or playing rough and tumble on the ground and you are tempted to say “gentle!” stop yourself! Rough and tumble play by Dad is playing a role in helping your child learn about competition,  the limits of their strength, self control and how to deal with excitement.

Fathers discipline differently: Fathers tend to  stress justice, fairness, duty (rules) while mothers stress sympathy and help ( relationships). Fathers lean enforcing rules systematically and sternly, something which I note works really well for our 5 year old son.

Read the full study on the differences between ‘mother love’ and ‘father love’  here.

Reading

The Single Father: A Dad’s Guide to Parenting Without a Partner (New Father Series), Armin A. Brott -(includes practical advice to solving common problems following a divorce)

Fathering: Strengthening Connection With Your Children No Matter Where You Are, Will Glennon

Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad’s Guide To The Second And Third Years [Kindle Edition], Armin A. Brott

The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be, Second Edition [Kindle Edition], Armin A. Brott & Jennifer Ash (looks at how to stay involved during the pregnancy as well as when to tell your friends about the pregnancy and financial planning).

What differences do you notice in your family between how Dad and Mum parent? Do you notice any differences? Do you have any books you would recommend?  Would love to hear your thoughts.

And last but not least Happy (upcoming) Father’s Day to all the Dads out there!

Ann Nolan

by admin

7 ways for nannies to build their brand and market their services

August 26, 2010 in babysitters, childcare, nannies by admin

Energise your career

Energise your career. Image By Temari 09

This morning I attended the Business Victoria Energise Enterprise –  Small Business, Big Marketing event in the Docklands, Melbourne.

The event had a panel of speakers including Robert Gerrish(@flyingsoloAU), founder of online business community, Flying Solo,  and Danish  branding expert Christian Schultz (@cjschultz).

Advertised as “a must for anyone interested in learning more about small business marketing” in attendance was a lot of small business owners from diverse industries. From hairdressers to Natasha, the very nice wife of a plumber and mum to four children, I spoke to at morning tea break.

As I was sitting there listening to Christian Schultz talk about building your brand, it struck me that nannies are running microbusinesses  and that many of the advice and tips from this morning are translatable including:

1. Time -
to build a successful and sustainable business  takes time.  Providing a quality service that means lots word of mouth referrals and recommendations does not happen overnight.

2. Price your service accordingly-
when you price your product or service -as the case for nannies – more than your competitors research has shown that consumers will look closer at your service to see what is the added benefits of your product over your competitors.  This is an opportunity for you to sell yourself. In short, do not make the mistake of thinking that the cheaper you offer your services the more likely you will get offers of employment. Parents want someone skilled, experienced and who will care and nurture their child. Value your work and skills and charge accordingly.


3.Maintain a sense of humor –
Don’t take yourself too seriously.

4.”Be on trend”
- You don’t have to set the trend but staying abreast of what is happening  in your field – child development, play and childcare – is important. Stay current, stay informed.  Consider subscribing to weekly Google Alerts using keywords like “childcare” “nanny” and “nannies”. This means every week you will receive an email from Google with a list of resources it has come across recently published on the website with these terms. You might also want to consider subscribing to Babysitterdirectory Blog here.

5.
Keep personal social media profiles private. As the saying goes don’t say something online that you wouldn’t say face to face to someone. Same applies to posting photos or having photos tagged off you. If you are using social media like Twitter, Facebook and MySpace for personal reasons, login to your account and ensure that your privacy settings are set  to provide maximum protection. The last thing you want is a potential employer Googling your name and coming up with a tagged of your in  Facebook. Check here for more information on Facebook privacy settings . Take particular note on how to remove yourself from Google.

6. Consider social media for professional reasons
: If you aren’t doing so already consider using social media like LinkedIn so as  to maintain a professional digital profile. Also consider joining relevant groups. You can search the group directory here and you can see my LinkedIn profile here.

7. Flawless execution
- be professional, be qualified and be the best at what you do.

What’s your tips for successfully marketing yourself for your next nanny job?

Ann Nolan
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